Home and Away

my faith, my life, in a faraway land Livin', inspirin & lovin' it

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

duh..

I'm not over with him. I'm not. I'm still listening to Gabrielle's 'Shining Star' and missing the good times we had. Today, he told me it was exactly 3 weeks since he started dating someone new. This 'hot.. Oxford grad'. I was upset. But not so much of jealousy but because.... because... because...

I guess it's just not possible to describe this in one word. I think the real shit came when he was trying to tell me it's not all over between him and me. He just sounded like a big jerk. I think so. But I'm still in love with him. I know I won't want a man like him. NO. He's just trying to stir my heart. But I'll still defend him. It's in him, his character. He's just saying how he feels. Though at the expense of my feelings. Well, why should he care? He wouldn't. And how can I blame him for how I'm feeling. Cuz I should be in control on my emotions. Argh....

I'm just disoriented when it comes to him. He was or should I say.. still is.. my shining star. Sobs. I know I'll get over this. It's just taking a long time. I still can't exactly see when this pain will stop. But I'm sure one day it will. Maybe we'll still be together.. ha.. that's gonna be the silliest thing I've ever said. Yeah but who knows? Hey.... stop it Grace. Whatever, whatever, whatever.

3 Comments:

At 9:35 PM, Blogger Dave said...

Hey Grace,

I think we're all a little hesitant to comment on this post. Maybe because it would be inappropriate...? So I'm diving in to say something. Inappropriateness be damned. :)

I say I hope you've resolved it with this guy, but it's not that easy... There's certain things that are too hard to ask here, but hopefully your friends can encourage you and back you up; help keep your mind occupied if you don't want to think about him; talk about him if you need advice; listen compassionately if you need to vent; be silent when you need to cry...

And as Christian friends we can pray that God will reveal what He wants for you, and give you peace of mind...

I'll shut up now.

 
At 5:19 AM, Blogger Grace Chen said...

Hey Dave,

Why would it be inappropriate for a friend to say something? No it's not :)

I'm doing well. Have good support with me. There's also you. Appreciate that, thanks ;)

 
At 7:04 PM, Blogger April said...

Grace, I randomly ran across your blog. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I'm going through the end of a ten year long struggle. I pray that the HOPE of God is evident to you. He makes ALL things new.

 

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