Home and Away

my faith, my life, in a faraway land Livin', inspirin & lovin' it

Sunday, March 28, 2004

one decision, two hearts broken

I've never met a guy who loves me so much. Jason is the first. And I've never loved a guy so much too. He is the first. We used to say we love each other 'to the moon'. How romantic can that be.

But one mistake led to one thinking after another. He said he's never blamed me, he's forgiven me and wants things to stay the same. But I realised things can just never be the same again.

Studies and career are the things I want to focus on now. I want to freely explore, I want to meet new people, I want to try for my dreams. This relationship would just be a burden.

As much as I'm so tempted to tell him how much I still really want to be with him, I held my tongue. No one should live for anyone, I can't let him wait for me indefinitely.

A decision so hard to make, I'm experiencing the kind of pain I've never felt before. I'm sure he's feeling that too.

I pray to God for our recovery. And I thank Him that we are still friends. Come what may, I know He will always have the best plans for us.

We'll get thru this.

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